The Secret Life of Our Secrets

Think about what secrets you're keeping from others. It shouldn't take too long; behavioural scientist Michael Slepian has found that, on average, we have as many as thirteen secrets at any given moment. His research, involving more than 50,000 people from all over the world, shows that the most common secrets include lies we've told, ambitions, addictions, mental health issues, hidden relationships, and financial problems. Some secrets can weigh heavily on us. However, Slepian argues that the burden of a secret rarely stems from the work it takes to keep it, but rather from the fact that we carry it alone, without the support of others. Whether we are driven by a desire to protect our reputation, a relationship, the feelings of a loved one, or some personal or professional goal, one thing is clear: holding back a part of our inner world is often destructive, lonely, and isolating. But this book will show you that it doesn't have to be this way. Are you interested in: – at what age do children develop the cognitive ability to keep secrets? – whether all secrets are associated with the same mental burden? – how we can reconcile our secrets with the human desire to form relationships, connect, and be known? – when should we confess our secrets? – who makes the ideal confidant? – whether keeping certain types of secrets can actually enhance our well-being? The answers are hidden in this book. It is full of new insights into one of the most universal, yet least understood, aspects of human behaviour.