Alone against ourselves

Most of us know the three basic words associated with trauma – fight, flight, or freeze. However, psychologists have identified a fourth, very common but little-understood response: fawning. This is often linked to 'codependency' or 'people-pleasing'. It occurs when we inexplicably move closer to a person or relationship that causes us pain, instead of distancing ourselves from them. The author's own journey of experience and exploration led her to understand the unhealthy behavioural patterns we adopt in trauma and struggle to break free from.